Me: Let’s talk about how it all started. Myself: How what started? And I: Ha! The pickpocketing. Me: Yes, can we talk through that? Myself: Yeah, that’s fine I guess. I don’t get how it’s all that fascinating, or worth its own essay, but we can. And I: It’s cause you were poor, just admit […]
Words From The Other Side
I Have Some Thoughts About The Purge
These thoughts are overwhelmingly positive. I lurve The Purge, by which I mean the sequels to the original, deeply lackluster purge movie. Sorry, Cersei Lannister, but it ain’t your finest hour. Please enjoy this itemized list of things I unabashedly adore about The Purge: Anarchy and The Purge: Election Night. Firstly, I like broody, dark-haired men […]
We are All Immigrants
Fun Fact about Me: I have an ancestor who was a governor of the Jamestown colony, the first permanent British settlement in North America. That means I have ancestors that were here a decade before the Mayflower. But guess what? He was still an immigrant! Every year or so since the Great Recession, we seem […]
The Thing About Birthdays
It’s my birthday, but the clouds are offended again because of something I’ve said or thought. Their bellies are full of dark-sick, gauzy vomit, pushing away the sky which doesn’t remember I’m nine today. People are talking about the moon, how there are men on it for the first time, but people have told me […]
Tristan vs. Yoga
One Saturday last spring I got up early to join my friends for a yoga lesson at the Indianapolis Museum of Art. This is a totally lovely museum, and nothing that transpired was in any way the museum’s fault. The night before yoga, I’d attended a peer workshop where I hadn’t been assertive enough and my […]
Glass Boys
I’m an old man now, but I was a boy once, and I saw things—adults with backward rollercoaster eyes, muddy backhoe faces, steel wool fingers, javelin forearms that could tack anything they wanted to a wall, a floorboard, a bed board, or a rusty bedspring creaking for rescue. I was a glass boy then, blown […]
