The Ring Master Can Master Everything But Himself

My mother counts the days she thinks I’ve been single now. I’m never going to have grandkids at this rate, she says. Sure, you will, I say. I’m waiting for the right person to come along. Paul glares at me when he hears this.

Paul wonders when the day will come when I’ll tell my mother how much I don’t like women and children. When she’s laying in her coffin, I want to say but can’t; loving my mother and loving Paul is a balancing act. The show of pretending I’m not who I want to be must go on.