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If I Can

November 1, 2020 By Len Kuntz

If I Can

I’m wearing skeleton skin again, while you’re drinking lined-up Kamikazes at a bar, wearing no bra, no napkin or straw. There’s an intern looking sharp, sleek and suited Italian-grey.  That boy has a horse (.…) for a tongue, but still, I’d kiss you, if I could.

Your mother, she’s almost my mother, worries I’m too skimpy and sallow, though she says it “Swallow” like I’m a bird endangered. Makes me laugh, makes me want to ask about you and that new arrangement, his dark slick / d(…) and coiled pubic hair.

Even so, I’d kiss you, if I could.

Most nights, I see you in a lagoon, afloat like a listing planet or broke-off piece of glacier ice, your breath all muddy mist and frothy grey, gross but kind of naughty, and hell yeah, I’d kiss you then, if I could.

You don’t know it, but you’re beautiful inside out, ring-around-the-collar or rosy, juxtaposed or reposed, a recurrent orbit, even when you’re hideous or being brutal. You could throw up in the sea, you could throw up on me, and I’d still kiss you, if I could.

Those twins we never had, they sometimes show up unannounced, creepy in the hall closet, like a nervous cause that doesn’t know where to protest. They ask me their name and future, claiming I’m the culprit, and still, I’d kiss you, if I could.

If I was bones or ash, lame or too distracted, rich and not bothered at all, I’d let it all fall away, watch it burn, but what I’d want most, is to kiss you, if I could.

And I know I’m in trouble, seeing / drinking double, second-guessing every disguise. But you should know I love you more than I love myself, or anything at all, and what I want most before I die, is to kiss you, if I can.

I’m dangling on the soft slope of your neck, hope on one side, fear on the other, wondering when you’ll notice.

I erase myself bit by bit, day by day, but can’t get the job done entirely, which is why I’m now dangling from the soft slope of your neck, hope on one side, fear on the other, hoping you’ll notice.

About Len Kuntz

Len Kuntz is a writer from Washington State and the author of four books, most recently the story collection, This is Why I Need You, out now from Ravenna Press. You can find more of his writing at lenkuntz.blogspot.com

Artist Credit:

Brett J Barr is an artist/ tattooist, born in Easton Pennsylvania. He grew up in Daytona Beach, moved to Orlando FL in 1997 and now resides in Chuluota FL. Aside from tattooing at Built 4 Speed Tattoo in Orlando, Brett enjoys many different art forms such as graphite, charcoal, paint, pen and ink, mixed media/ graphic design, woodworking miniatures and studies classical guitar.

Contacts:
brettjbarr@yahoo.com
Facebook/ Brett J Barr
Instagram/ brettjbarrtattoos
Shop Insta/ built4speedtattoos
built4speedtattoos.com/brettjbarr

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