“But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them.”
An unrequested dick can be many things: an annoyance; an embarrassment; an object of mockery; a predicament, sure; it is some or all or none of these things depending on the situation. There is one thing an unrequested dick will always be: a threat.
The mounting tide of sexual misconduct stories focus on power, systems of inequality, lack of diversity, toxic masculinity, the cornucopia of patriarchy and sexual politics. But let’s take it to basics: when a woman enters the room of a 6 foot tall, 240+ pound man with the expectation to talk business and that 6 foot tall, 240+ pound man whips his dick out, that is not a predicament for her. It is a situation in which she must consider her bodily safety if not her life.
When one enters the room of a man, who only minutes ago—conversed affably and encouraged her to excel in the industry—and now that man is suddenly naked—here is a rough list of questions that first spring to mind:
Is he drunk or on drugs? Is he mentally unstable? Is he blocking my exit? Does he seem angry? Does he want to hurt me? Does he have a gun? Is there anything I can use to protect myself? Where is my purse? Can I reach the phone? If I shout or scream, would someone be able to hear me? If he were to grab me is there a way I can break free? Am I going to be raped? Am I going to die in this room?
I cannot say with complete authority that no one ever considers the future of their comedy special in that situation, but I can imagine that it is a relatively low priority.
When you present an unrequested dick, you are no longer their “widely admired” hero, you are a large, naked man threatening sexual violence. You do more than “hurt” people, you terrorize them. You have done more than tarnish your personal legacy. You have proven that our greatest fears about men are true.